Democrats have officially launched a war on pizza, and the reason why will have you spitting nails

Jun 28, 2023

Left-wing environmental extremism crossed the rubicon on complete insanity long ago.

Yet, somehow they continue to invent new ways to use their extremist agenda to completely negate hundreds of thousands of years of human progress and destroy all joy in life.

And now Democrats have officially launched a war on pizza, and the reason why will have you spitting nails.

Democrats hate small business owners

Even after watching how their COVID lockdowns and restrictions wiped out small businesses across the nation, completely destroying all the hard work generations of Americans put into them, Democrats still haven’t learned their lesson.

Instead, they’re doubling down on their anti-small business agenda in the name of stopping climate change, proving once again they hate small business owners by enacting new rules to target some of New York City’s oldest, most iconic, family-owned-and-operated pizzerias.

According to a report from the New York Post, The New York City Department of Environmental Protection has unilaterally drafted new rules that would order eateries that utilize coal-and-wood-fired ovens to cut their carbon emissions by up to 75%.

Under such rules, which obviously disproportionately impact pizzerias, business owners whose ovens were installed prior to 2016 – so all of the oldest, best NYC pizza places – could be forced to install pricey emission-control devices.

The Post noted that the owner of one Brooklyn pizzeria already joint installed the system in anticipation of the new rules, costing him more than $20,000 just for installation, and that doesn’t even include the cost of hiring an outside company to perform the required maintenance on the system every few weeks – an astronomical cost for small business owners.

“Oh yeah, it’s a big expense!” Paulie Gee’s owner Paul Giannone explained. “It’s not just the expense of having it installed, it’s the maintenance. I got to pay somebody to do it, to go up there every couple of weeks and hose it down and you know do the maintenance.”

On top of that, “restaurants with coal-and-wood-fired ovens must hire an engineer or architect to assess the feasibility of installing emission controls devices to achieve a 75% reduction in particulate emissions,” the New York Post noted.

Officials from the city’s Department of Environmental Protection defended their authoritarian, small business-destroying regulations by claiming less than 100 businesses would be affected.

Of course, the overwhelming majority of the businesses impacted will be amongst the city’s oldest, most iconic pizzerias, most of which have been run by the same families for decades since their ancestors immigrated to America.

“Give us pizza or give us death!”

And needless to say, the news is not sitting well with pizza lovers from all walks of life.

“I’m all for responsible environmental practice but tell Al Gore to take one less private jet or something,” Brooklyn Heights resident Saavi Sharma told The Post while dining with her parents and cousin, who were visiting for the first time from India, at a NYC pizza joint. “Give me a break! I’ve been bragging about this pizza to my family for like five years. Don’t mess with this!”

Possibly the most famous pizza influencer in the world, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy, who built a considerable amount of his fame on the back of his popular One Bite pizza reviews, echoed that sentiment.

In one of his patented Emergency Press Conferences on Twitter, Portnoy unleashed on the environmental extremists who have declared war on pizza, promising to fight them tooth and nail.

“Apparently, in New York City, some f***ing little liberal arts, Ivy League, pink-haired, crazy liberal who’s never worked one day in the real world is on an environmental commission and they woke up from their little nappy poo, wherever that may be, and they’re like, ‘I figured out how to save the world today, we have to get rid of coal-oven pizzerias in New York City. We gotta stop the emissions, I guess it’s pollution, blah, blah, blah,” Portnoy raged.

“They’ve been there for 100 f***ing years minimum most of them, and this environmental commission lah-de-dah-dah person wakes up and wants to ban coal ovens?” he added. “Are you f***ing kidding me? Do you know what’s going on in New York? You got rats, you got trash in the city, you got f***ing cars, planes, private planes, you got people getting slashed on the subway, you got flash mobs robbing stores, and you’re coming for coal-oven pizzerias? You think shutting down like 10-15 pizza places is going to make a f***ing difference? They’ve been there for 100 f***ing years.”

Portnoy went on to express his belief that the new rules “ain’t gonna happen,” as he pointed out that people are already rallying against the environmental extremists enacting them, including one hero who threw pizza at New York City Hall in protest while shouting, “Give us pizza or give us death!”

“This just shows you how f***ing stupid some politicians are,” Portnoy said.

“Leave the f***ing pizzerias alone,” he concluded. “Listen, I’ve never been the biggest New York City guy – they’re old school pizzerias, that’s f***ing the guts of the city. You come for them, I’m coming for your throat. That’s a promise.”

Before It's Banned Official Polling

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